~As for me and my scraps, we will serve the LORD!~
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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Crop Reminder :)

:) Good Morning all!...Quick reminder, The Scrapbrat Chat happens at 2pm est. time today at Scrapbook-bytes.com (it is a font challenge)...I am the hostess and would sure hate to sit in there by myself! That's the weird thing about hosting anything, it just isn't as much fun for some reason if you are the only one there...hm, curious isn't it?...lol
I also wanted to share an entry I posted on my personal blog the other day, it seems so relevant every day and God really dealt with me on it again today :), but even if your faith is not founded in God the lesson still holds true!
But first, here is a preview of the attendance gift...(there is another gift if you post your layout in the Scrapbrat Chat Gallery at Scrapbook-bytes)





Whatever Is True...

wow I have eaten more humble pie in the last year than I ever thought any one person could eat...
and, subsequently I have felt so low at so many points in the last year that I could barely lift my head up high enough to keep from drowning in my own self doubt...
God has done SO many wonderful things in my life, there is no doubt of that...and a lot of those wonderful things have to do with the change he has made in me and through me...
I was thinking the other day "why is it that I can barely keep my head up when it seems that I have it all?"...then I got into a discussion with a friend who said that they too were struggling...even as far to the point of contemplating suicide...
depression has been "part of my personality" for as long as I can remember and a year or two ago I was diagnosed bipolar...which makes an "easy out" for me to say "well I can't help it when I get like this..." (and by "easy" let me clarify by saying being depressed or bipolar is NEVER easy...it is just that when you "suffer" from these diseases, people just kinda almost expect it and always expect the worst in your personality)...now before I go where I am going with this, let me also say I am NOT saying medication is not necessary or that what I am doing is for everyone (well I mean I of course believe that people should go to God first, medicine 2nd, then follow up with a healthy dose of God as a chaser)....this is just how God has been working with me....
I am reading "Loving God with all Your Mind," and it is amazing that God seems to have spoke to the authors heart so much the way He did to mine :)
Any of you who have read my personal blog for any amount of time know that this is a recurring theme with me....I honestly believe we CHOOSE to be happy/sad/satisfied/discontent even if we don't REALIZE we are choosing that...now i am not repeating the horrible mantra "just get over it" because I do NOT believe (bipolar or not) that if you suffer from depression (chemical or environmental) that it is something you just choose to get over....I am saying that I can choose, on my bad days to say "life sucks...I am miserable...I am just going to be this way forever...everyone can see how horrid and miserable I am...I don't now, nor will ever amount to anything" or I can FORCE myself to see it for what it is, a bad day where the chemicals in my brain and body have went wonky and a day that will eventually turn to night, and a night that will turn to daybreak again, this is true of Christians and non-Christians alike, you don't HAVE to be a Christian to choose to be content (lol it just makes it a lot easier in my humble opinion)...and when God started dealing with ME on this I honestly said to Him with a snicker and a sneer, "yeah right, okay, whatever......" and i felt that way every time I tried this for over a month (lol and that has been 6 months ago and I STILL feel that way some days) before it started becoming almost 2nd nature
Philipians 4:8 says that we are to only to think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things".....that is sound advice no matter who you are....
I am notorious for thinking "ugh, they said this so they must MEAN this..." and letting it eat at me for DAYS or WEEKS....or for being somewhere and just KNOWING that people are staring at me b/c of my weight or appearance (I have anxiety attacks b/c of this one)...or for just KNOWING that if someone is not being really sweet to me it HAS to be because i have done something horribly wrong and they are going to be cool towards me from now on....
Those sound like exaggeration, but they are about as true to how I feel as I can explain, and THAT my dear friends is how depression keeps someone locked up and tied down...
now I am learning to look at those same thoughts and compare them to Philipians 4:18.....are those thoughts TRUE (and real, as in the true reality of the situation?)....I cannot TRULY know what someone is thinking, so why bother trying to decipher it, if they are mad or meaning to say one thing I have to choose to believe they would tell me because if they don't it is their deal not mine....
is it noble? trust me, there is NOTHING "noble" about some of the things I let myself believe people are thinking about me...
is it right? well this can go 2 ways...for one, IF they were thinking that way about me it would not be RIGHT of them...and 2, how do i know if i am even right about WHAT they are thinking?!
is it pure? to be pure is to be without blemish or fault and the way i feel about myself is definitely not always that way :P
is it lovely? um no, or i wouldn't feel BADLY about it
is it admirable? hm do you admire someone who is always saying "oh well....sigh....my life is never going right....nothing good ever happens for me....why should I feel like it should...."....no, even though you may love that person, you definitely don't admire their company b/c it begins to wear YOU down...I don't want to be that person...
is it excellent or praiseworthy? obvious answers huh?
So today I am choosing to believe whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy....
If I start to dwell on something that is not I can refocus myself to say "ok well the grass is a lovely shade of green, my kids are gorgeous to me, the sky looks blue/gray (this is true, somewhat boring, but true)" and not put a "but" on any of those things :D....if i think "but" i have to purposefully put it where it belongs, which is behind me...lol get it...butt, behind me...sigh yeah i crack myself up....
well I have went on enough for now, believe it or not I woke up in a REALLY sucky mood today, so thanks for letting me get this out and helping ME to feel better already ;)
Have a great day, if you choose to....
Remember: no one and nothing can make you feel inferior without your permission....
:) ~fantacy

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You picked a great day for me to leave a message like this. I really needed it. Sometimes we forget that we do control our thoughts and we do have a choice on how our day is going to turn out. I hope that both of ours go better than they started. :)

--Carjazi

Leslie and the boyz! said...

Hugs to you .. I know how hard things like can be for some.. and for others to even imagine.. BIG HUGS TO YOU:) WE ALL LOVE YOU!!! :) Just remember that!!! :)

Shell said...

This was just so thought provoking & profound. Thanks for that lil boost when you're down. Keep on keepin on girl.

kylie_m said...

I so understand where you are coming from Fantacy .. I too was diagnosed with Bipolar about 8 months ago, with struggles on and off with depression over the years! What you said "I am notorious for thinking "ugh, they said this so they must MEAN this..." and letting it eat at me for DAYS or WEEKS....or for being somewhere and just KNOWING that people are staring at me b/c of my weight or appearance (I have anxiety attacks b/c of this one)...or for just KNOWING that if someone is not being really sweet to me it HAS to be because i have done something horribly wrong and they are going to be cool towards me from now on...."

This is how I feel so much of the time, and then I attack my friends and then of course they arent my friends anymore! Well you know what I mean, I have found a couple of friends that deal with it all, and are there no matter what, and forget it when I say horrid things.

You are right, I too believe we can choose, to some extent, how we are going to see, approach and feel about the world, but it is a battle everyday.

xo
Kylie

Anonymous said...

wish i could give you a big hug!! hope you're feeling more positive! i also know how you feel...too bad its easier to feel down than it is to lift yourself up...but it's excellent that you know who to look to for help!!

btw--in case you're still looking for a place to sell--oscraps is lokking for designers right now--you should totally try it!! you'd be fabulous!!!!! do it!! :)
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle said...

Thank you very much for your post!!! I needed to read something like this here recently.

CaliChris said...

Fantacy, you are one awesome, talented and very, very, very nice friend to all that visit here and at SBB! You design unique things that I personally just tottally love. You are a woman of God and you listen to Him...That is such a bonus to God and inspiration to us.
I tottally bummed when I can not be at your chat, as I look forward to them. (Internet down for 1 1/2 days)
I love ya sister in Christ and I thank you for your inspiration here!

Pillowgirl said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is always nice to know that in this big huge world, no one is ever alone.

I hope you also find that there is always a blessing somewhere just waiting for you to stumble upon it.

LVMommy22 said...

great post darlin'! you are an amazing writer! you explain things so well and make it easy for people who haven't had your experiences to understand where you are coming from. writing is obviously one of god's gifts to you! tfs!
:) M

Cleo Fitzgerald said...

Hi there, .rar it the same concept at winzip but just a little better. Youcan download the application free here http://www.download-zone-free.com/winrar/

It is a small file so it does not take much to download it and install it ... let me know how it goes.

Kim Broedelet said...

Just popped by to say a HI- and now I'm leaving you with a huge HUG too! You're AWESOME girl! Always try to remember that!
Hugs and Loves
Kim

Dawn said...

Just read this. BIG HUGS to you. You know I understand completely! And, since I do know some news you haven't blogged about yet, let me say CONGRATS! You so deserve it!

Anonymous said...

HI just wanted to pop bye and give you big cyber hug , hope all is well with you.you are very talented and I have very much enjoyed reading your blog. take care

susie2004

Anonymous said...

I've only just found your blog tonight, but freebies aside, Lord am I glad that I did!! I do LOVE your designs and congrats on becoming a professional Designer, that's brilliant news!! But the thing that has made me really glad to find your blog is that your messages are incredible and they are inspirational too. Ok, you may wonder how, but sharing your feelings, those real feelings that all of us have, make it easier for others to identify with and to realise they are not alone in having them and in doubting themselves. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for everything, best of luck designing and I look forward to seeing more of your work! Take care, Sassy